Friday, May 12, 2017

Local School District Cancels Million Dollar Fumigation Contract after Smell Miraculously Disappears!


The Tanglewood Report - May 12, 2017


Authorities from the local middle school in Livingston, TN have reported that they were able to cancel a non-binding contract with the Jojo Fumigation Service after a strange odor, that reportedly had effected the school for a little over a month, after the smell miraculously disappeared earlier today. The fumigation was to have happened today because this was the day that most eighth graders would be away because of a so called “lay out day”. The eighth grade wing seems to be where the odor is coming from.

School officials claim that the odor did indeed begin about a month ago. Students and faculty all agree that the odor is a mixture of the smell of mushrooms and dirty socks and strangely began around the eighth grade classroom area but quickly effected the entire school. Many students have been going home sick every day which has created chaos with the school nurse.

“Man, I distinctly remember the day that it started.” claims 8th grade student Parker Story aka Porkloin. “I remember because it was the day my best friend Robert Blackwell aka Robert Tinkwell came back to school after being away for most of the school year. Ugh! It was terrible! It smelled like old socks that had been on someone’s feet for over a week and rotten mushrooms! It also strangely reminded me of Baby Groot.”



Parker Story

Robert Groot 2Groot




Porkloin Story     Robert Blackwell (Tinkwell)          Baby Groot

Porkloin Story’s girlfriend, Mackenzie Owens, who does not attend Livingston Middle School, told this reporter that she was very glad that the smell had gone away because Porkloin was beginning to carry the toxic fumes with him. “It was as if Porkloin was spending a lot of time with the culprit of this smell. It was really creepy!” she claimed.

School officials are said to be very thankful that they are saving all of the money. They have already spent thousands on investigating the horrible smell that seems to only occur when school is in session. Weekend Janitors are said to have smelled the remnants of the fumes, but when windows and doors are let open the odor seems to go away.

The workers at Jojo’s Fumigation are not so happy though. Jojo’s assistant Wiggles (who is a very delicate creature but loved by all) said that Jojo doesn’t pay her enough and that “He’s always jumping around and going from one project to the next. He makes me so tired that all I want to do is lay in bed and sleep all day!”

Jojo’s hippy secretary Mountain, a catlike hairy looking person, is also dissatisfied. “Just more paperwork for meow, ummm, I mean me.” she mewed.

Fortunately all is not lost for Jojo and his crew. They still must investigate another strange odor that has effected the school district. This time it is over at the highschool. Officials there say that it is a weird concoction that smells like llamas. Oddly enough, the creature pictured below has been seen roaming the grounds for the past few months.

Llama 2

This creature has also been seen near Tanglewood Lane and at the ballpark in Livingston. If you happen to see it call authorities immediately.

~ Tatiana Tinkwell Reporting

Tune in again tomorrow for a special report on an alien like “whitedolphaunicorn” that has been spotted in the area.

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