Traveling with Kids Part 1 - Packing "Have-Tos"

With our crew of three boys, two which are on the autism spectrum, we have learned how to pack the luggage and pack the car. Packing can become an art form if you work at it hard enough. My dear wife, Sarah, is a pro at it. I'm going to touch on some "have-tos" for packing, but I'm mainly going to be talking about things that you really need to pack in order for the trip to go smoothly.

First the luggage and car packing.

I'm sure that you all know this, but it is worth repeating. MAKE A LIST! Now, we don't always make a list for the trip to grandma's house an hour and a half away, but we do make lists for our long week or two week trips. And, just like Santa, we make the lists and check them twice. Some things that we definitely list are:

• Medications
• Special items needed for the trip (you have to have fishing rods if you're going to the lake!)
• Special items that you may be taking to someone on the trip (don't forget that great one-of-a-kind gadget that you found for Grandpa!)
• Must haves that you can't buy along the way (Study Bible, special stuffed animal, lap-tops etc.).

It might help to also go ahead and list usual items like clothes, else you'll be using your travel budget to buy outfits at Wal-Mart (yes, we've learned the hard way!).

We have also discovered, over the years, how to use every available space in the car and that every item has it's place.

• Have a toddler whose feet don't touch the floor? Use the floor space to store his needs. Diaper bag, extra pillows, pull-ups, can all be placed there and, perhaps, even make his ride more comfortable (ever travelled for a long time with flapping legs and feet that can't touch the ground?).
• Do you have a van with bucket seats behind the driver and passenger? Put the cooler between them. It makes it handy for the kids to grab a snack and it's also easy for mom (or dad when mom's driving) to reach around and help.
• Have an extra seat where no one is riding? Don't leave it empty! Put blankets, pillows, duffel bags with toys (more on that later) on it.

With large families, families that require a lot of things when you travel, or going on a long trip that requires more things, it is often a necessity to use every space in the vehicle. Be creative. You know your needs.

Everything is ready to load - including Jo-jo our dog!

Now for the fun part of the post.

"Must Haves" that will make your trip way more enjoyable.

I know that I have talked about some of the obvious things that you have to pack. These are some extras that we always pack to make things more enjoyable.

Reward/Goody Bags

Number one on our list is our reward/goody bag. These are things that we pass out at intervals throughout our trip. They could be anything.

• Little toys
• Games
• An unusual snack
• Coloring books w/crayons
• You name it, you can put it in. You know your children. 

A couple of recommendations are to make sure that you have equal things in an equal amount for each child.

• More than once we have bought two of one color and one of another or two that are the same and one that isn't quite like the others. Don't do that unless your kids are totally used to that type of thing and can handle it. Our autism spectrum kids can't. It doesn't work for them.
• Sometimes it's good to have three different colors so that you can tell whose is whose, but at least make sure that they are basically the same.
• If you have a child(ren) that is sensitive to bright blinking lights, smells, noise, car sickness, etc. choose accordingly. Nothing is worse than a meltdown or sick child on a long trip. It really defeats the purpose of the rewards/goodies.
• Remember, you know your children and what they can and can't handle.

We'll talk more about this tomorrow in my "Traveling Have-Tos" post.

Electronics

Electronics in a home can be a blessing or a curse and the same is true in the car. I'll repeat my mantra once again - you know your children! Here are some tips and ideas.

• If you are blessed to own a mini-van with a DVD player in it, then that can be a God send! More than once an hour and half trip to Nashville for Drs. appointments have gone smoothly because we had a movie to pop in. If your vehicle isn't equipped with one, then consider buying a small travel DVD player. You can purchase ones that hang write over the back of seats now and the prices aren't quite as high as they used to be. When you pack the movies, take into consideration what movies will be enjoyable for all. Your 14 year old probably isn't into Blue's Clues anymore!
• Handheld games or computer tablets. Again, they could be a blessing or a curse. Make sure you pack one for each child or at least have plans for the other kids while one is taking his turn. There is even a way to hook a game system up to your mini-van DVD player. Again, make sure that everyone will have a turn somehow and pack their favorite games.

More on this tomorrow as well.

Fun Bag

Don't forget to pack a small bag with favorite toys to play with while they are waiting for their goody bag items to start being passed out. Some ideas/reminders are:

• Cars for the boys or small dolls for the girls
• Coloring books and crayons, sticker books, etc.
• Favorite books to read
• Favorite stuffed animal

Remember what you bought (or are thinking of buying) for the goody bag so that you don't duplicate - compliment instead. If you know that stickers are going to be passed out, then make sure their sticker book is in the toy/duffel bag. One suggestion is to pack a separate bag for each child and don't forget to put it in a handy place to get to.

Snacks

Snacks are a big thing in the Tinkel family - especially on a long trip. Some folks don't allow their children to eat in the car, but that wouldn't work for us. Here are a few things that we have learned the hard (or easy) way.

• We like to try different snacks when we travel. Start with some out of the ordinary things and buy some along the way. Did you see some regional drink or snack at the last rest stop? Buy it and save it for snack time later on.
• Make sure you take into consideration allergies. Or...
• Make sure you think sugar or things that make your kids hyper. We can't/don't allow our kids to drink or eat anything with red food coloring in it. The results could effect them for days to come. We really try to stay away from all food coloring, but, that's just us...what's my favorite saying...you know your children!

Once again, we'll talk more about this tomorrow.

Well, I pray that relaying some of the things that work with the Tinkel family will help with your packing and getting ready for your next big travelling adventure. Tomorrow we'll talk about what we actually do on the trip to make things run smoothly and happily (for kids and parents alike).

Don't forget that this post is part of a great "Five Days of..." Blog Hop that is being presented by the TOS Homeschool Crew. Other members of the crew have chosen other "Five Days of..." themes to blog about this week. Click on the banner below to check out some of great things that they are talking about!

         

The Father and the Son - A Mother's Day Story

This was originally written as a review for a homeschool unit study. I have since revised it into this story.

The father and his son sat together in the shade, leaning against the trunk of the old oak tree. It had been a hard day. They were both tired from working in their large garden and doing yard work. The air was sweet with the smell of springtime honeysuckle and roses - especially the smell of roses.
The yard was full of rose bushes. They were tucked between the azaleas and the hostas. They were planted beside the clematis and the iris. There were seventeen to be exact. Nine his dear mother had planted. Father would buy her one every Mother's Day. The other eight were the ones that father silently picked out and planted on each Mother's Day since she died.

The boy glanced over at the newest rose bush planted just days before. It was a pink variety that he knew that his mother would have loved. He didn't remember much of his mother. She passed away when he was only four years old. His father talked of her very little so the things that he did recall he clung to like a rare treasure. Still the memories were becoming foggy in his mind.

In the dimness of his memory was the picture of a kind but strong woman. She was full of life and vitality. Always doing for others, but never too busy to love and cherish her own family.

The boy also remembered the day of the accident. He recalled the last time that she hugged him and kissed him. His thoughts turned to the knock on the door and his father's rushing out while the kindly neighbor woman enveloped him in her arms and took him to her house to spend the night. The days that followed were a blur. His father's grieving - the confusion of a young boy who realizes that his mother is never coming back. Those were dark days.

The days had changed however. His father was always a cheerful man who loved living and loved his family. Although things were different, the father soon threw off the appearance of sadness and acted his cheerful self again. The father loved his son and wanted the best for him. He knew a sad home was no place to raise a young boy. So, with the Lord's help, he determined to make their home a happy home. And he did. The boy and his father were extremely happy and loved each other immensely. Still, occasionally, the boy could see a small wisp of sadness in his father's eyes. He knew that at those times Father was thinking about Mother. Those looks became more frequent in the spring when the roses were blooming and especially around Mother's Day when it was time to plant another bush.

The boy glanced at his father. Father's eyes were pointed toward a beautiful orange rose bush but his mind was far away.

"Should I?" the boy thought. "Is now the time?"

The boy had always longed to know more about his mother, but lately he was yearning to know more about mothers in general. For most of his life he'd had no mother. What were they like? He watched his friend's mothers and how they reacted to their sons. It always seemed to him that a mother's and son's relationship was a special one. He loved his father deeply and never wanted to hurt him, but their relationship was not the same. His face reddened slightly as he thought about the kindly neighbor lady who tried so hard to give him some motherly affection. His lips curved up as he thought about the embarrassing pecks that she would plant on his cheeks and the sudden hugs that she would give him. He knew what she was doing and loved her for it. Still, she was not his mother. She had her own brood to care for and to give her motherly love to. What was a mother truly like?

"Father," he suddenly blurted, "What is a mother like?"

Father's eyes came back to life and he glanced at his son.

"Mmmm? Your mother?" he said. "Oh she had soft brown hair and your beautiful green eyes..."

"No, Father." interrupted the boy. "Not my mother, but...you know...mothers. What are mothers like? What is it like to have a mother?"

"I mean," stammered the boy as he stumbled for words after his sudden outburst, "We just celebrated Mother's Day and I don't even really know what a mother is. Oh father, I don't want to hurt you, but..."

The father didn't have a harsh bone in his body, but somehow his face softened even more than usual.

"Oh my son," he exclaimed as he wrapped his boy in his arms. "It is I who has hurt you. I have tried to be everything to you but in doing so I have failed to teach you about a mother's love."

They sat in silence for a few minutes and then his father unwrapped his arms, smiled and said in a matter-of-fact-tone, "But, it is not too late!"

He leaned back against the tree. "How do you teach a boy about mothers?" he mused as he plucked a long blade of grass and stuck the end into his mouth.

He thought for a moment and then suddenly jumped up and exclaimed, "I know just the thing! Come with me."



He scurried into the house as if on a mission with his boy hurrying behind him. “We're going to do a unit study on Mother's Day this week for homeschool.” he said as he sat down at his computer.

“What do we know about putting together unit studies, Father? We've never done anything like that before.”

“I'm sure it can't be too hard. Look at this!" He said after he had typed in a search for Mother's Day, "Look at all of the things we could do. There are web sites on Mother's Day crafts and Mother's Day recipes.”

“And,” he said excitedly, “here are some fun Mother's Day worksheets that we could complete!”
"Let's keep searching! I'll bet we can find a lot of fun ways for us to learn about mothers. We'll learn together." said Father enthusiastically.

And so they did. They had a wonderful time watching the videos and listening to special Mother's Day songs. They worked on the worksheets together and enjoyed learning about the history of Mother's Day. Each day they read about a different Biblical mother and what the Bible has to say about mothers. The boy even coaxed his father to tell him about his grandmother. He laughed at the stories his father would recall from the days of his youth. As the week went on, the boy began to understand what a Godly mother was, but, as each day passed, the boy became sadder.

The father noticed the change in his boy's demeanor but didn't know quite what was wrong. Finally, on Friday, while they were watching another video, the boy could stand it no longer. Before the movie was even finished he jumped up and ran from the house. Father found him beneath the same oak tree where they were sitting a few days earlier. The boy was sobbing uncontrollably.

The father put his arm around his son and held him close. He waited patiently for the lad to calm down enough to talk.

"What is it my boy?" he asked softly. "What is troubling you?"

"Oh Father," exclaimed the boy as he fought back another round of tears. "I have enjoyed learning about mothers so much...but...each day we seem to read about different things that we could do for our mother." "But, " he hesitated and hung his head, "I have no mother." And with that a fresh stream of tears began to trickle down his cheeks.

"My son," said the kind father. "Did we not learn about Ruth and Naomi in our studies this week? Ruth loved Naomi and left her own country to travel with Naomi back to the land that she had come from. Do you remember why she did it? She did it because Naomi was kind to her. She treated her as if she was her own daughter. She was the Godly mother that Ruth had never had."

As the boy listened he stopped crying and looked into his father's face with an inquisitive look.

"Son," continued the father, "You may not have a biological mother here on earth, but you do have mothers. Mothers that are kind to you and that love you. Think of Miss Esther, your Sunday School teacher, who always has a kind word for you and congratulates you when she hears of your accomplishments. What about dear old Mrs. Finster who always bakes two pies or two batches of cookies ~ one for herself, and the other to be sent home to us? And then, don't forget Mabel the kind lady who lives next door. She has five children of her own, but never seems to run out of hugs and kisses for you whenever you are around. They have already shown you what being a true, Godly mother is all about. They are your mothers."

The boy sat and thought and then, suddenly, his face brightened.

"I can't be sitting around here anymore, I have work to do." he exclaimed as he jumped up.

"Where are you going, Son?"

"I'm getting ready for Mother's Day. I know that the holiday is over, but shouldn't mothers be celebrated more than just one day a year? I'm going to honor my mothers today!"

And so he did. He used the ideas from the unit study. He made a special Mother's Day card for Miss Esther, his Sunday School teacher. He baked some heart shaped cookies for dear old Mrs. Finster. He lovingly made a Mother's Day craft for Mabel, the kind lady next door.

That evening his father helped him deliver his gifts. The boy sat with each recipient and thanked them for "adopting" him and being the mother that he didn't have. It never failed that as the boy and his father left, there were tears in the recipient’s eyes.

As they arrived home and the father was passing the kitchen table he noticed one more wrapped package sitting upon it.

"Son," he called, "Did we forget to deliver one."

Unbeknownst to him, the boy had silently entered the room behind him.

"No," said the boy softly as he picked up the gift, "This one is for you. You see Father, all of those dear ladies have been Godly examples of what a mother should be, but since Mother died, you have been both my father and mother. You are the one most deserving of my love on this special day."

The father carefully unwrapped the gift. Within the paper were the workbook pages he had completed in the past week's study on mothers. They were lovingly bound together with ribbon that the boy found among his mother's old sewing kit. Many of the pages had asked the student to describe different aspects of their mother. For some reason, those pages caught the father's eye more than the others. Suddenly he realized why. On each one of those pages his son had not written about his mother at all, but about him. As the father slowly closed the book, he noticed that on the front was a beautifully drawn picture. It was of a rose bush.

Now it was his turn to cry while his son placed his arms around him.

That night, as the boy lay in his bed, it dawned on him that he finally knew what a mother was. And, somehow, the memories of his real mother became all the more clear to him again.

This story is lovingly dedicated to:
My wife, Sarah Tinkel, whom I dearly love.
My mother, Dorothy Rose Tinkel, who passed away on February 14, 2011.
My mother-in-law, Carolyn Adcox, who has been a dear mother to me for the past 19 years.

Are Missionaries Who Serve in the United States "Real" Missionaries? A Follow-up to the Question.

Yesterday I wrote a post about my frustration with folks who pooh-pooh North American missionaries and deem them not real missionaries because they don't serve overseas. Are they real missionaries? Watch this short video by Reggie McNeil. The answer that he gives may surprise you!



If you want to read what really makes me angry read further!



I got it again today. The big brush-off. At least this time it was on a blog and not face to face. Still, it was stinging. It was the same old, same old, your not a "true" missionary because you don't work in some foreign country somewhere.

I've been getting it every since God led us to be North American missionaries nearly 15 years ago. Of course our mission agency is behind us. The people who really know us encourage us. The folks that live here that see what we really do encourage us. But, if I go outside those areas then I'm hard pressed to find a person who would call us "true" missionaries.

I remember the first time I got the brush-off. It was from at a large college missions conference that we were part. At the end of the conference they had us all sit up on stage and answer questions. One of the students asked "Why should I go on the mission field with your agency." One of the other missionaries spoke up and said "I can tell you why! Look around you in the United States. There are churches on every street corner. In the country I work in you can hardly find two churches within fifty miles of each other. Now, you tell me why you should go on the mission field!"

That stung. That made me feel like I wasn't doing the Lord's work as a missionary because I wasn't in some country where churches were far apart from each other.

I heard about something similar a few years back. A missionary was home on furlough from Papua New Guinea when he got a knock on the door. When he answered a lady began telling him about the Lord. As they got to talking the lady said that God had called her to leave her home in California to come to this small town in Pennsylvania to be a missionary. Later the missionary on furlough was outraged as he was relaying this story to a friend. He was incredulous that someone would leave their home in one part of the U.S. to come to another part of the U.S. when there are millions of folks around the world that need to hear about Jesus Christ.

Again, when I heard this story, I felt like nothing.

There have been many similar instances since then. A few weeks ago I was attending a friend's church on a Sunday that a missionary speaker was featured. After service, during lunch, we had a chance to sit at this missionary's table. He asked us what our occupation was. When we told him we were full time missionaries his face lit up. He then asked us where our mission field was. That's when it happened. When we told him that we worked with low income folks in a small town in Tennessee it was as if a balloon had been deflated. Oh, he kept a courteous smile on his face, but that was all it was - a courteous smile. He didn't have a whole lot more to say to us.

Today, I got it again. I was researching missionary stories to tell to children when I came upon a website that featured blogs from missionaries around the world. I was excited! After all, I'm a missionary and I have a blog. I would love for my blog to be featured! Then I read the details. Oh, yes, they take North American missionary's blogs...if you work with cross-cultural people. It's okay if you work with Hispanics in south Texas or with Native Americans in Colorado but if you just work with low income folks in Tennessee this isn't the place for you. Not that you aren't a true missionary, mind you, they just work with cross-cultural missionary blogs.

I know, I'm sounding whiny and ungrateful. There are many, many folks who see what we do and support us prayerfully and financially. And, besides, are we not supposed to work for the Lord and not for man? Please don't think that I'm putting down foreign missionaries either. I know that it is a huge sacrifice to leave their families, home, and, really, everything behind to go into a country that is totally different than their own. They go for years at a time without seeing their families. I think of my friends Howard and Karla who left everything to work with the people in Bolivia. I think of Chuck and Kathy who have spent over 20 years now planting churches and reaching the folks in France. I think about my pastor and his wife Tim and Karen who spent years on the mission field in the Ukraine and in India. I know that they suffered. I know that they went through culture shock. I know that they got homesick. I know that they told people about the Lord that would have never heard about Him if they hadn't had gone.

I feel guilty for even writing this post. I feel like I am being selfish or self-seeking. However, I also feel that sometimes North American missionaries are overlooked. Not just my family, but others as well. What about my friends Donna and Hazel who diligently work in rural Kentucky with the children and adults there. They go into the schools weekly to do character classes. They hold a Bible club in the center that they run. They work with their church. And they do all of this full-time. If they had to go out and get jobs to support themselves they wouldn't be able to do all that they do.

Or my very good friend Lois who does work similar to us in Georgia. For years she's worked with the kids from the projects, boys and girls club, Hispanic community and her church. That is her full time job.

Or what about my many friends that work in inner city Philadelphia? Is their work not as important to the Lord as the folks who travel to other countries?

If folks stop supporting them because they aren't "true" missionaries on the foreign mission field then what will happen to their ministry?

And, finally, what about one of the most important reasons why we aren't on some foreign mission field? God called us to be where we are. Trust me, I sat through many, many, many mission conferences in college and in my home church in Florida. I heard the speakers. I heard their stories and about the need for more workers in the countries where they served. I dreamed and prayed of someday being a missionary in a foreign land. But, you know what? God didn't call me to some foreign land. He called me to Tennessee. If I were to try to go on the foreign mission field then I would not be effective because that was not God's calling. I need to be obedient to God. If the folks that went on the foreign mission field stayed home they wouldn't be as effective as they should be because they were disobeying God. We all need to be obedient to God and serve Him from where He called us to serve.

Maybe someday God will lead us to the foreign mission field and we will serve Him there. Until then, He's called us to work with low-income folks in small town Tennessee and that's where I'm going to stay until He tells me differently.

Well, that's my soap box for today. I feel better now. Thanks for listening to my ranting and raving. And, most importantly, thanks for all of your prayers for our ministry.

I'm So Excited...I Can't Deny...!!!

No, I'm not trying to revive an old Pointer Sisters song. I really am excited about what is going to take place next week! I'm going to take part in a huge blog hop called "The Five Days of..." on the Homeschool Crew blog.

Each participant has chosen a them that will carry on for the five days of May 14 - 18. My theme that I chose  is... (drum roll please!)

 

Ha! With my crew of rambunctious boys I know about traveling with kids! I have my five days partially planned out. I plan on blogging about...

• Packing Have-Tos
• Traveling Have-Tos
• Hotel Have-Tos
• Traveling Extras
• Our Favorite Traveling Memories

That's my plan for now, but it could all change tomorrow. At any rate, this is going to be fun. 

Remember, though, that these are just my humble little ideas. There are a few flaws to this. I have three boys and no girls, I have never done overseas or airplane traveling with my kids. And, probably the most important, I am a little ADHD myself, so who knows what crazy stuff that I might include!That brings me to this small request...

I need your help!!!

I need you to tune in each day and add all of your suggestions and ideas as well! PLEASE! I think we can glean from each other. I'm looking forward to reading all of your comments.

More details will be coming soon. Just remember, though, that it's next week, May 14-18 for five days! A lot of other crew members have chosen different "The Five Days of..." themes so you will want to check back later this week when I will have the link to where you can go to read all of the crew members posts.

So, start packin' and hold on tight! It's going to be a wild ride!

This is Fascinating!

I posted this on Facebook a couple of days ago but thought I would add it here for those of you who don't do the Facebook thing. Watch the top video first, then watch the bottom video. They are both fairly short but they are both truly fascinating.



I'm Packing My Bags for Tanzania!



Well, not personally, although I wish I was, but vicariously through eight great bloggers that are going on a great blogging trip with Compassion International. Twice each year Compassion hosts two trips where they invite seven or eight bloggers to go along and blog about their experience. The first trip rot 2012 begins on Monday and it to Tanzania!

I am really excited about this trip for two reasons. One - I found out today that I actually know one of the bloggers going on this trip! Jolanthe was a crew mate with me on the TOS Homeschool Crew a couple of years ago. I couldn't believe it when I saw her name and picture! Yay Jolanthe!

The second reason is that we actually sponsor a child from Tanzania! I'm going to following along carefully to see if they go to Emmanuel's (our Tanzanian son) Compassion project. Wouldn't it be neat if they actually got to meet him and write a blog post about it? At any rate it will be exciting to learn more about Tanzania and how Compassion International works there.

I have followed several of the Compassion Blogging trips in the past. It never fails that I am changed at the end of the trip. The blog posts are always incredible. They aren't written by some marketing department someplace, but by actual people like you and me. They see things through eyes like our eyes. When they are touched by something, I am touched by something. When they cry, I cry. When they celebrate, I celebrate! Trust me, taking the time to follow along and read their posts is worth it.

If you would like to go along on the trip with me, just click here or on the banner above. If you want to know more about Compassion International, what they do, and how you can sponsor a child, click here.

Thanks for coming along with me on this adventure. Let me know what you think.